I’m realizing more and more that I need to keep most things to myself. I’m reminded what I have a therapist for. Friends can sometimes be just as judgmental as anyone else. I learned recently that one of my friends is ashamed of my life FOR me; suggesting that I not tell a guy very important pieces of my life for fear of “loosing them”. Wow. Fuck that. If they can’t deal with a little LIFE, they don’t deserve me. It kind of hurt my feelings, but of course if I say anything, it will come off as me “trippin”…which is the reason why I often don’t tell people when they hurt me; Its automatically charged to my mental health….as if I can’t just have negative feelings like a normal person. I hate when my emotions are discredited…something a second friend did today. This is what makes me shut down at times…when I feel like I can’t talk to anyone without unwarranted critiquing. Can I ever just talk without you responding with an “solution”? Shit.


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