Sometimes I want a relationship with my biological father for the sake of him being the last optional parent I have left. MOST times, I prefer to believe he doesn’t exist. He may as well not. I feel I’m wasting time even writing about him. But I wish I had a parent. The thing is, even if we did decide to try and make things work, he doesn’t know who I am, and I don’t care to teach him. The resentment I harbor would flare up the moment he got out of line with me or failed me once again. This is why I don’t go through the trouble…of setting myself up for failure. But sometimes it’s a nice thought, that I do technically have a parent, though I feel nothing in my heart for him. I don’t even love you.