Trust Issues


I’m way too trusting, entirely too forgiving and clearly very gullible. It makes for a temporarily broken heart every time. I say temporarily because it doesn’t take me long to get over it after I beat myself up emotionally. My self-assisted ass whippings are far greater than any betrayal from a loved one or friend.
People often say “trust is earned” or “I don’t trust anyone until they prove they can be trusted”, but I’ve always felt the complete opposite. How unfair is it to give someone u just met slack before they even get to know them? I guess that’s my problem; thinking everyone has good intentions when the truth is that not everyone does.
I’ve always had so much faith in humanity that I do really stupid things at times like let a boy in the house to use the bathroom and ended up being sexually assaulted. Driving a stranger to the bus stop because he was on crutches and I felt bad. Forgiving my lying, cheating, abusive exes….etc. forgiving is good & it’s a process. Forgiving is for you, not for them. You can’t be whole if you continue to let pieces of you that someone shattered sit there untouched. I just want to get to a point where I can forgive, but not be foolish enough to make the same mistakes twice & end up with my feelings hurt. I want God to bless me with discernment and better judgment so I can avoid situations before they arise. Something has to change. Being bound & hurt gets tiresome.


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