Ventilation

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Random venting, probably very repetitive…we’ll see where this leads.

I miss my baby. That’s every. single. day tho. I’m worlds biggest hater, and lover of pregnant women. When I see one, I don’t know whether to scowl at them in jealousy or start crying at the joy of motherhood. It’s usually the latter. Pregnancy is beautiful. Weird, but when I see a pregnant woman I want to hug her and her bump & just tell her how blessed she is. I pray the person is a good mother, and that if they didn’t want to be one that God equips them. Everyone isn’t meant to be a mom, but God can fix that. Anyway.

I don’t have feelings for anybody, which FEELS weird. I mean, I’ve been here before but SOMETIMES I kind of would like to love someone. Sometimes. As of late I think about all the effort it takes getting to know someone knew and getting comfortable with them etc. and I get exhausted just thinking about it. I really don’t have the time and highly doubt someone around my age being patient enough to deal with all the responsibility I have in combination with the issues that I have. I tried once & he bailed. Don’t too much blame him but it definitely made me hopeless. I think I’m done in every sense of the word.

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