I’m not perfect. I’m no brainiac. I have nothing all figured out. I don’t know what I want to do, where I want to go…I’m essentially lost in the world. I turned 24 the other day, and I have nothing to show for it. Harsh reality and not a clue as to how to fix it now that I’m here.

Every night I go to bed feeling defeated, alone and quite frankly, worthless. Occasionally I’m reminded how worthless I am, but there’s not shit I can do. I’ve come to the realization that life is entirely about decisions. There’s no right or wrong one, but the ones you make will take you down different paths. There will be consequences either way. And you will think you’re making the right one every time, be it for temporary or longterm reasons…and you will be right, and there will be a foul consequence as a result and a lesson to be learned. And it will suck. And you will wish you’d chosen the other option, but you can’t.

So it doesn’t really matter what you choose. You just learn how to deal with the path you took the best you can. That’s where faith comes in. You trust that God will see you through no matter what happens. He gave us all free will. He had to know we’d mess up and be there to fix it.

I’m just rambling now, but at this point I’m just wondering if I chose the wrong path. Where to go from here?


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