“This is My Year”……

…said everyone on every January 1st in history. Not me. I knew it was. I didn’t need to declare 2013 my victory year. I had decided back in 2012 that every year after that would be mine.

It’s been rough and exciting and troubling and victorious all in one. The theme for this year was “execution”. Did I accomplish everything I set out to? No way. But I definitely knocked the major ones out of the park.

This year I abstained from sex. What once was a coping mechanism for me has become something I’ve grown to cherish and look forward to sharing with the love of my life. I once was a sex addict and now I hardly ever even desire it. And when I do, I just think of the end result. How I’ll feel afterwards. I decide every time that it’s not worth it. Couldn’t be more happy with my decision.

I’ve not been with a woman at ALL physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally….nothing. There’s not been a single female in my life in an inappropriate manner, more have I desired to be. It was never by force. I never had to talk myself out of it. I learned to true power of deliverance. Nothing in me yearns to be with a woman after having been a lesbian for 6 years. I can only thank God for that.

I moved to a place I always dreamed: New Jersey. Now for some, that’s no big deal, but for me it was a chance to truly find myself and get closer to God. It was a growing and learning experience on so many levels. I learned more lessons there in 5 months than I have in my entire 23 years of living. Although I’m back home, I’m more than grateful for the wonderful opportunities I was able to embrace there and the people I met and to learn the true definition of family…what it is and what it isn’t.

My mom became ill. Now, this is a bad thing, however, God has equipped me in ways unimaginable to be able to handle this and it reminds me daily of the woman I’ve become and who I want to be. I’m still trying to figure out what to do and where I’m headed, but it could be worse.

I love myself. I know myself. I am myself. There’s nothing more I could ask for. Though I had some major setbacks this year: I was homeless for months, I quit a job for the first time, I was scammed, I was fired for the first time, I was betrayed by family, friends and people who I thought loved me, in all that, I learned to love and trust and believe in my God more than ever and also in me. This was a great year. I don’t know what He has on store for me next year, but I’m ready.


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