I hate Keyshia Cole

I remember when my heart broke
I remember when I gave up loving you
My heart couldn’t take no more of you
I was sad and lonely

I remember when I walked out
I remember when I screamed I hates you
But somehow deep inside still loving you
I was sad and lonely
—Keyshia Cole

Every once in a while there’s that one Keyshia Cole or Drake song that puts you in weary ex-girlfriend mode and reminds you that you’re not free. It’s been well over a year. I’d like to move on. You’ve moved on AND in. I’m ready to be over it.

I’m not mad or bitter about anything, I’m actually happy for you. I just want the memories to go away. I don’t need them; the good or the bad. There’s absolutely nothing that can come of those thoughts.

But, with every bad thing, there’s a good thing. That break up made me GROW up. I’ve become more mature, more sure of what I want for myself and my future and I have way higher standards for myself. I’ve now been celibate 11 months and looking forward to saying that next month is a year that I’ve proclaimed my body as a temple. It feels amazing to have accomplished that. Being able to say no when it’s not easy has taught me discipline in so many areas of my life. I’m hopeful about the future. I gotta lay off the Keyshia, though. She puts me back I’m a place it’s hard to get out of. Praying to God I get out soon. Til then, I’m still cool off dating. Not ready.

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