Scheduled Tears

“If you’re gonna cry, cry with an agenda.”-Mom

It’s the best advice I was ever given; to set aside time to let out all your frustration, sadness, hurt, anger, fear…and just cry.

Sometimes we let our emotions get the best of us at inappropriate times and far too often, and we lose control and it effects our lives…what we say and do, how we think and really messes up things for the future. Our minds, our emotions and thoughts are ours to control. God gave us all free will, which is why I know being bipolar is something that can be cured spiritually and mentally by learning how to control your emotions.

First step: cry with an agenda.

So tonight, I’m gonna cry for you. I’m gonna get it all out: every moment of heart break, every burden, every second of misery. I’m gonna shed a tear for every false I love you that was ever professed out of the mouths of those who told me forever and left me. I’m gonna fcking cry because I’m still in love and it hurts…I’m gonna cry because I want love, but I’m afraid.

I’m gonna stretch out my arms wrap myself in this blanket and stick my face in this pillow, pretending I’m laying in your chest and cry for the memories because they’re all behind me now, and I’m creating a fresh start, and that’s scary.

I’m gonna cry for letting go. And then I’m going to wipe my face with my shirt, pray God gives me strength and peace and go to sleep because time is up.

And then I’m gonna move on.

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